Bothers and Sisters in Christ.... i felt moved today to speak about the insidious nature of doubt, and a lot of you have doubts there always there some are a tiny voice to earth shattering satan is there mirroring you and telling you... everything that you don't want to hear but you know in your heart that they are true.... let give you all a small example from my every day full blown conversations with myself and with either mirror or mirrors of myself as satan tries to destroy me. My biggest doubts right now is am I a Christian... some of may know and some might say with certainty I am... and I'm not going to to which one you are, this about my thoughts feelings and suffering and if you read go ahhh that's me too or yeah I'm kinda like that.... anyway like any Christian i read/listened as often as I can and not as often as I should... and I find myself finding question and not the typical questions, like is Jesus God and other things like that I'm talk werid and unable to ask questions like why am I truly here and how how do i figure out what gifts the holy spirit has given me are my natural talents are those it or is it something supernatural and this is when i get into my every day fight with myself.... yeah i get into a lot of mental and spiritual fights.... so it goes something like this; what am i to God goes thought, rebuttal thought absolutely nothing... then think ok i can't do nothing... nothing to save myself...doubt creeps is satan whispers you are correct, you are nothing.... ignoring that i keep thinking.... so why did God love us to have his son die for us.... because He loves us.... doubt louder are You sure all... well other Christians say they're save and give great stories.... doubt louder you never had a great story or life, how can you be sure..... I can't all I do i what the bible says and even then I'm not a 100% sure.... doubt at this point in my mind manifests as myself well there you go QED, since you don't have a story and your life has been garbage showing my memories of my life to me there you go you're not saved... that hurts me and discourages me but i truck on... then why are you still following someone who doesn't even want you or acknowledge your pain and suffering...... I don't know it feels like the right thing to do or maybe if I acknowledged His existence more He'll notice me, bu i don't know.... Well He's God right He sees and knows everything you saying He's not God.... No I'm not I'm just saying I must be doing something wrong not be noticed or feel forgiven..... well yeah you might be right He's really busy with you know His people..... yeah your probably right, I'm just me not worthy of anything.... Well how about you stop praising Him, praying to Him cause He's so busy, He might notice.... I don't know I don't praise Him enough and don't pray enough.... nah that's not it, have you seen your life it's not getting any easier or better, there the haves and have nots and then you, Why are you following an absentee God........ I still don't know why, but my heart and spirit won't let me, but my body is in anguish from relief of the burden and my mind is clouded by sinful things, I don't know what to do anymore more.... well if you're not want or needed just remove yourself from this life...... I can't do that that's a sin... sin what sin, and uses everything I said against me, sin is a construct invited by an absentee God to bring in people He wants and crush those that don't, you follow to the best of your ability and you suffer more, you die a little bit more every day fast than most people you're going to die so just end it..... your probably right so you consider and contemplate more about your existence in the grand scheme of things, the you realize that you a tool for the Lord's work and as John Mcarthur says we as Christians are chains for and with each other, Jesus Christ is the first link in the ever expanding chains of the Christian faith remember who helped you and you help the next one, and remember you don't save anyone that's the holy spirit has to be present and you have to also be willing to talk to people.... Doubt is Cruel to me in so many ways even to hopefully God willing to Find the love of my life or... which would be unfortunate but if he doesn't want me to then it's his will not mine..... I hope this helps people who are doubting things.... he I'm still doubting a Christian.
So Prayers, Protection and blessings not only to all my Magabook family but to the multitude that suffer from the weight of Sin. AMEN